5 Effective Ways To Step Out of Their Shadow
Last year I had a conversation with a girl I went to high school with after hosting a streaming event about my worksheet: How to Empower Your Voice in 7 Days or Less. She shared that up until she decided to be intentional about how she was living her life, her friends knew her as the party girl. She shared that she grew tired of being known for that and grew weary of living up to those expectations. She knew she had much more to offer than a good time. We reminisced on her wits in our honors math class and her ability to lead.
Her realization and commitment to transforming her life lead me to really think hard about expectations.
Expectations can be a great way to set boundaries in your life and keep you relationships healthy, but on the other hand expectations can dwarf many relationships, including the one with yourself.
Like my friend from high school pre her awakening, many people are confined to the views and expectations of others. If you're known as the party girl, then you live up to those ways and don’t know how others can dare to take you seriously. Similarly, if you are known for being the top of your class, breaking free and showing your creative side can seem like a daunting task because I mean, how can you find the courage to actually do that and who will appreciate that side of you??
In these instances when you are restless of being the character that everyone knows you as and ready to be who you want to be, you have to trust yourself.
Here are 5 effective ways to trust yourself when you are stepping away from who people expect you to be:
Realize that you know yourself better than anyone else
Yes we spend a lot of time with our family, friends and coworkers, but at the end of the day you spend the most of your time with yourself. There’s a constant dialogue between yourself and the things you are absorbing. Pretty much your mind is trying to figure out what is true or what is false based on the information we are presented with. We ignore this dialogue a lot, but by ignoring it we are ignoring our resources, desires and intuition. Essentially we are ignoring ourselves and taking in everyone else’s philosophies. By realizing you know yourself better than anyone else you’ll begin to hear that dialogue and decide what is right for you.
Understand that you do not have to be the same person for your whole life
Trying to be the 18 year old version of yourself when you’re 28, will stunt your growth and cause self sabotage. It is inevitable to prevent growth so do not try it. Accept that activities that you may have found interesting in the past may be boring to you now. Understand that things you were impressed with before can turn into things that you are disgusted with. That’s normal when you are going through the journey of life. If people around you want you to stay the same and you want to progress you have to put you above them. Yes this can be difficult because it may cause you to become distant but it’s worth it if it is stunting your growth.
Memorize this verse: The Fear of Human Opinions Disables, Trusting In God Protects
Whether someone approves or rejects you holds you back from acting and doing what you want to do.Trusting in what you want to do, because it is from the highest power, protects you from seeking approval and trusting that you are already validated by God.
Know that you are not responsible for how other people view you
If someone isn’t feeling you or your growth and they think that you’re being fake.That’s their opinion and you can’t change that. They are responsible for their outlook and you have to be secure in yours so you don’t stress to change their mind.
You can not please everyone
Trying to please everyone is the formula to neglecting yourself. It’s not possible for you to do what everyone else wants you to do and still be nice to yourself. In order to step away from who people expect you to be you have to use more nos and less yeses. Yes it’s going to be awkward at first but I’m telling you from experience that you’ll feel thrilled to say no in no time lol.