Battling Your Mind and Emotions: The Act of Living With Regrets

During the holiday season I traveled home to surround myself with family, holiday tradition and delicious homemade meals. During that time I also found myself falling down a hole of nostalgia—hanging out in old stomping grounds, spending time with people I left behind and picking up old habits that no longer serve me. I began to feel uneasy. I felt like I was playing a game of tug-of-war with my past and present self. After counting down to 2020 on New Year’s Eve, I did not feel excited or hopeful for what the new year would present to me—I felt blurry and couldn’t see my future. 

Upon arriving back in D.C. on the third day of the year, I sat down and reflected. The conflict I experienced was a conflict between my mind and spirituality. I thought to myself “I could not be the only one to ever experienced this,” so I sought out answers and solution to win the mind vs spirit battle.

I learned that if you have entered into a spiritual journey that upgraded your life then digging into your old life can be conflicting with what God has in store. During this journey of seeking freedom and happiness God forces you to let go of old non serving habits that distract you from your mission or dream. Although you may miss hanging out with old friends, visiting venues and neighborhoods you built memories in or even just reminiscing with someone on a staple moment you shared, it is not beneficial for you to act on it—it makes you question your new life and try to figure out why you left the old one behind in the first place. If you are committed to a life of happiness then you must leave the past in the past. Of course, it is much easier said than done but here are three ways to help you stay committed to your spirit and happiness when your mind and emotions get in the way.

1.Prepare for your day by focusing on the overall goal you have in mind

You can never be too prepared. Make it a habit to spend time with yourself and your higher power upon waking up to set the tone for your day. Plan out how you will move to fulfill your purpose daily. Moving with your overall life goal in mind will keep you away from anything that doesn’t help you get close to achieving it. Align yourself with what you want so you won’t threaten your happiness.

2. Be aware of the surroundings that cause you to drift and be proactive

When you know you may be surrounded by things that trigger you, it is smart to give yourself a warning so you aren’t taken off guard which in turn causes you to react. Declare who you are, acknowledge who you once were and live with the understanding that the past is the past, you had good times but you aren’t going back. By using this preparation exercise you’ll take your surroundings for what it is instead of yearning to revisit the past. 

3. Accept the old you and believe in the new you with no doubts

Believing in yourself and the journey you took will keep your foundation strong no matter the storm. If you are in a toxic environment that tries to take you away from yourself, you won’t budge because you trust yourself. It can be difficult to do when you surround yourself with the things that once controlled you, but practicing the act of self belief daily and knowing that you don’t want to go back will keep you disciplined.

This step requires you to accept who you are despite any regrets. We all have a past and do things we aren’t proud of, but understanding that you needed to go through that to get to where you are now is vital. You learned your lessons and now able to teach and measure your self growth.