I Let Someone Else's Outlook Define Me

Perspective is one of those topics that I love to discuss. I remember one of my close friends and I used to be fascinated by the concept of one event spewing multiple viewpoints. I know, I know it sounds simple, but it isn’t so simple for someone who is only moving based on themselves and not considering their interactions with others in the world. That’s not to say we have to put a heavy emphasis on their perspectives, in fact that’s what brought us here,  but it is very important to be aware that not everyone is thinking, understanding and feeling how you feel. It’s also important to realize if you aren’t aware of your own perspective you can lose sight of your voice.

Here are a few ways that other’s perspectives can limit you and how to fix it.

1.Limiting views can be seen with people close to you. Family, coworkers or peers can judge you based off their own understanding —forcing you to believe that your actions are wrong and making you think you need to change. This could be because they believe their intake is more accurate than yours, and in the end it makes you question yourself. It can make you change, resist or resent. 

What to do in this situation?

Instead of getting offended or conforming to someone else’s perspective, ask them to explain what makes them think that way. This is where you’ll find out the root of their perspective. You’ll be able to exchange thoughts and maybe come up with a common view—if not, that’s okay.

2.Limiting views can also appear in intimate relationships. Your partner can assume that they know your motives without giving you the opportunity to speak. Because they can only see from their understanding it breaks trust. This also can lead to a partner feeling unheard, less valuable and frustrated. 

What to do in this situation?

Talk to your partner. Let them know how you feel and ask them to hold off on assuming they know your mentality based of their understanding of certain actions. Ask to be treated as an individual, respected and have the opportunity to share your viewpoint. Your partner could be reacting based off of fear or protection, but pointing out the fact that if you were elevated as an individual instead of an extension of them, the chances of your perspective being washed out will lessen.

3. Limiting views can also be seen in your relationship with self. What society says goes..well, that’s what we’ve been following for ages. Because our peers are so influential on our lives: the acceptance of them, their opinions of us and whether we are valuable or not usually hits our self esteem hard. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe their opinion is limiting. People’s opinions are based off of what they think is cool, but what do you think?

What can you do in this situation?

Take a step back and determine what you think of yourself. What do you think is hot? Confidently step into your own viewpoint and your own perspective.